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Relationships, Beliefs, and Values around Money

Money is a sensitive and taboo topic as a lot of thoughts and feelings are tied to it. Our values, beliefs, and relationships tend to shift in accordance with money.

Personally, I have had a unique relationship with money. From an educational standpoint, I received my undergraduate degree in International Business and Finance and completed my MBA with a focus in Finance and Investment Banking. Outside of that, I have attended countless seminars, accelerators, workshops, mentorships around money/business and have read tons of books on the psychology of money and investing.

My practical experiences come from investing, day trading, and as an entrepreneur that started, owned, operated, and sold several different businesses. Just a side note and moment of truth. I still feel I haven’t achieved the business and financial success I desire. Hence the continued journey around success, financial freedom, and finding balance.

I have also invested in different types of real estate over the years.

Ultimately, money is a medium of exchange and we need it to access certain resources. Therefore, we need to make sure we have a mindful and healthy relationship with money.

I would say I have had a twisted relationship with money across various platforms, where it’s been extraordinarily good to me at times and extraordinarily terrible. My heart has been broken on occasion.

For 13 years, I had owned a wine store whose cash flow I depended upon to pay bills. Things were going well, until I signed a new lease and supposedly moved to what was considered a “better location.”

A mere few months before Covid hit, this move made my business revenue go down 80% and I had to immediately shut down my business due to major losses. At the time, I also moved to another country, so that I could be in a more central location worldwide, making it easier to travel to build my new business venture. I was building and investing in a database and platform with the best hospitals and doctors in the world. Then Covid hit and travel just didn’t exist anymore. My work and all I had put on it went down the drain.

On the onset of Covid, money was a major issue for me with all the uncertainty going on. My confidence took a major hit and I was clueless about where my income would come from and what kind of work I would be doing. With all this free time, I was meditating once or twice a day, reading, and walking for 2 hours each day. That also got redundant because I was doing the same thing every day, and with everything shut down, I was really feeling uncertain about what would come next.

Focused on being mindful about life, money, work, and my parents, as well as what’s going on, I started circling back and reading a lot of stuff on money and really examining my beliefs and values around money. I started looking back at my past businesses, money dealings, and experiences, trying to figure out how I had gotten myself into this situation and how I was going to get out of it. Then, literally, I stumbled across Sarah McCrum’s book on Amazon called, Love Money, Money Loves You: A Conversation With The Energy. I read the whole book that same day.

Wanting to really capture its message, I got the audio version as well and listened to it while I was taking walks. I probably listened to it and read it 10 to 15 times in a 2-3-month span, over and over again. The book really connected with me on many different levels, primarily because it was such a simplistic and mindful approach, yet very profound. I also liked that there were exercises within the book to clean up my money issues. It was such a different perspective, relationship, and view at money than what I had been exposed to in the past. For me, one of the great exercises was, “How does money talk to you?” You delve into your energy around money. Examine your values, and beliefs in regards to money.

I learned that I am impatient with money, like most seeking instant gratification in gambling, for example, with a mix of being a perfectionist. I realized I always wanted things to be perfect and have results now. When that didn’t happen, I would move on to the next shinny coin. That’s a bad and expensive combo since nothing is ever perfect and things of value take time to build. This is more evident because I fell into beta brainwave’s and operated in fight or flight mode by constantly reacting. Not a good place to be, especially when I am meditating and focused on being mindful. This led to many dark nights of the soul.

That is why being aware will prevent you from falling into negative programs and mind/energy traps. Practicing awareness and mindfulness will prevent such occurrences because your brain will be trained and recognize these patterns and how to react mindfully to do to remedy situations. As I quote the Buddha, “The past is already gone, the future is not yet here (or never happens). There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment”

The other challenge is the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO as it is coined). This can be seen when investing in real estate, trading, and Crypto. For example, when Bitcoin came out, a few decided to take a chance while most thought it was just another way to scam people, so there was no way they were wasting their money on it. But then it grew.

A lot. People felt like they missed out when Bitcoin came to around $30K, $40K or even $50K. Some of the lucky investors decided to sell at that time, while others kept it waiting for the next rise. Now, as Bitcoin is around $20K, some people still regret not buying in the first place while those who did regret not selling when the price was higher.

Truth is, money, and all that comes with it, involves your whole self. And if you aren’t mindful and aware, you might find yourself undecisive or making rash decisions, which will cost you good deals and will leave you unfulfilled, and ultimately, worse than when you started.

My advice to you is, if you plan on investing, you must have your money issues resolved because, at a certain point, you will need to cash out and make a decision. What will drive that decision is the mindset in your subconscious.

It’s really important to be mindful and aware of how your mind works, responds, and reacts to money. Money ultimately makes you more of what you truly are, bringing the real you to the surface.

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